marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
