I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
