the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
