he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize