TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
