he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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