Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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