i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
