i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
