I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Acid is not a monday night drug
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I AM VODKA MAN
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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