I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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