I think I am morally bankrupt
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
