i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
