THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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