I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
