i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
