I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize