Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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