If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
