one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize