who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
false alarm. still invincible.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
