; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
