And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
His hands were made for my vagina.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize