god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
