I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
