Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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