using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
