their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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