I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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