6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
