In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
