i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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