turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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