I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
