My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
