I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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