I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
