well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
