Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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