i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
