Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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