Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
