i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
