this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
