also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
