So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
