I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The air taste purple.
Randomize
