Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize