Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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