Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
