I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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