my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
