i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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