Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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