There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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