We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
