the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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