Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
