That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
