On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have fence marks all over my body
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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