I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
