I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize