i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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