She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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