Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
