it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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