I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
