I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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