Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
