I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I believe in your delicious
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize