Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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